Learn To Be Present


The most difficult thing to do to is process exactly what is happening to you or around you when mass chaos surrounds you.  As I began paying more and more attention to these types of incidents, I realized that I consciously had to remember that what I was seeing on the news was not known to the victims that were suffering. Think hard about this. One of the things that we talk about so often is how daily routine can be and often is your worst enemy.  You’re not watching, observing, you’re not looking for a threat, your not present. And why do you think that is? Because, “It can’t happen to me!”  It doesn’t happen in my neighborhood. Tell that to the Pettit family of Cheshire, Connecticut, (Link to story here).  All that needed to happen there was to check and lock all exterior doors and secure all windows. And those poor girls would not have been tortured and forced to suffer so badly before their all too early and horribly traumatic death. Routine, Comfort, Your in the sand. Can’t happen to me. Bullshit. I can, it could and it might.

My wife thinks that I have an anger issue, even though I control it very well, people anger me.  People that tell me they’ll do something and they don’t. People that drive way to slow in the left lane.  When I completely go out of my way to hold a door for someone and they refuse to acknowledge it.  These are just a few, trust me, just a few things that make me angry.  Throughout my years I’ve self-analyazed this issue I have to figure out just why it sends me to another level.  Here’s what I’ve come up with, my time, my life and my agenda are just as important as yours. My personal space, like most, is vital to my comfort level in public, when someone intentionally violates that, or pushes passed me to in line, honestly, I’m pissed off by it.

Why is that important here, I’ve gone from writing about terrible situations to routine interferences that happen, most likely on a daily basis to people.  Well, they have some things in common and one lesson that should be learned. Let me ask you this question, when you get in that situation when you hold a door for someone and they don’t say thank you or even acknowledged it happen, to you say, “You’re Welcome,” very loudly as they pass? I bet most of us do. Here’s a tougher question, when you’re walking down the street and see a female getting pushed up against a store exterior brick wall by what appears to be her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, he’s really hurting her, do you say or do anything then? Anything at all? Yell. Throw a rock. Take a picture with your cell phone. Call 911. Intercede? Or just keep walking saying, “That’s terrible.” I hope she doesn’t get really hurt, as you walk by, craning your neck to continue to watch. Not your business? Has nothing to do with you?

Unfortunately, life is defined by the weak and the strong, the bully and the bullied, at least that’s what the majority of the world believes. We hear stories a few times a week about “average” citizens that do extraordinary, “heroic” things to help people. They go out of their way to save a life or catch a criminal.  But, shouldn’t this be something we see everyday?  Oh wait, there was that one time when you had the balls to speak up when you allowed someone into your lane and they didn’t wave back to you.  You flipped off from behind right? Great job. But the massive car accident you slowly drove by bringing traffic for miles, probably couldn’t do anything there right?

Oh it’s a dangerous situation? There’s broken glass and blood.  Guaranteed as soon as you step out of your car glass will slice a huge cut on your arm, someone blood will get in it and you’ll be dead of aids in six minutes. Oh wait, is that gasoline leaking from underneath? Is that guy smoking a…..too late, t.v tells us that car and all that’s around will explode into a huge plum of flame and smoke. My point, learn to help. Learn to be present. Learn that you can do anything.  You can change the course of a life, even if it’s yours.