Stop Letting People Have Their Way With You

The Message – No one’s mouth, action or opinion should change the course of your day, non-the-less, your life.

 The Lesson – You control outcomes, you decide direction and you control your life. No one else.

 Yesterday, my six-year-old son had a melt-down when his friend was over yesterday. After not having the ability to share any and all of the million battery operated vehicles we’ve purchased, he sat miserable at the plastic kids picnic table. Tired of the situation, I sent his friend home and my son to his room. Yesterday, he began to learn the struggles of life and the fact that you must learn for yourself that your decisions become your outcomes. Straight to the point, it’s your job to figure out that direction of life comes from you. It’s your responsibility to except that lessons must be learned every day. Being naïve or not wanting to believe things happen is not an excuse when you fail to be happy or safe.

Mind Travel -

 Let your mind travel to being in line at Starbucks, the grocery store or some other public place you frequent.  Take a minute to really put yourself in this place, hear the sounds, smell the smells and imagine where your mind is while standing in that line. Really, bring the struggles of your real life with you for this exercise, the bills, the kids, your job, etc…

Count To 10 and feel yourself there – 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Now, realize that during that daydream of chaos, the person standing behind you is just too close. Without looking behind you, you know that person is just standing too close. It’s uncomfortable, your feel awkward and you step forward, creating distance. That feeling is gut instinct and for most of us, we only pay attention to it when we are consciously uncomfortable. What if you began to learn to feel gut instinct and intuition before that person entered your personal space?

From a law enforcement standpoint, we couldn’t do our jobs effectively without gut instinct. It’s really one factor that separate’s a good cop from a great cop. But with gut instinct come perception. Perception, anticipation and awareness in my mind need to all work in concert to be truly awake to what surrounds you.

Perception is simply your reality. If your perception is that Game Of Thrones is terrible, then simply, you won’t watch it and you’ll always believe it. In an early article I wrote how our mom’s made us soft by teaching us to be nice. Read It Here. If it is ingrained in you that people are nice, your perception is that all people are nice. The message throughout is that all people are not nice. So what happens as we, the nice people of the world, travel through our daily existence searching for the rainbows, only smelling the flowers and holding the door for every person that refuses to thank you for the kindness?

Stop!  Before you continue reading, understand I don’t want you to become paranoid, a bad person, jaded or hate the world and the people in it. The lesson here, in this article, is for you, the reader to identify your middle ground to become safer, more aware and maintain your happiness and search for rainbows and fresh Starbucks coffee.  That’s it. I do not want you to become an ugly, angry person that thinks that I believe evil is all around us, all the time.

Considered Yourself Warned – haha – Now, continue through the article, we are about at the halfway point.

So to answer the above question, what happens to us nice people if we are to uncomfortable to consciously except that bad people exist – Simple, we become vulnerable, we look like easy target’s and become more likely to become a victim.

Bad guys are lazy, they don’t like to be challenged, they look for easy prey and simply put, they don’t have the processing ability to formulate an organized plan.

Warning – Here I am talking about the common street thug, the common drug addict that is driven simply by the animal inside them to get their fix and get high again. Calculated, smart and angry bad guys do exist, they are watching, but that is a much deeper article that will need more space and time in the future.

Getting Back At It – if you look vulnerable, if you look like you lack confidence, if you head is low and buried in your phone, you’ll become a target. Start living your life with your head up, alert and aware. Even if in that moment and time life sucks and is overwhelming. As I explained to my son yesterday, you are the only person in your mind, no one else knows exactly what you are thinking. Even better, no one else knows what your limitations are. Simply put, if you’ve never been in a fist fight before, no one needs to know that except you. Present with confidence, become confident, become less of a target.

If You Take Nothing Else From This - Take These 5 Things

  1. No One’s Allowed To Touch You

  2. No One’s Allowed To Effect Your Day To Their Will

  3. No One’s Allowed To Take What Is Yours

  4. No One’s Allowed To Hurt You Or Your Family

  5. You Decide What Direction Your Day, Your Mind And Your Life Go In.

Wrap Up – Take the time to learn to recognize gut instinct, put yourself in a safe spot and feel your gut tighten up and process the feeling of instinct. With the recognition of instinct, you can begin to work through it and consciously take an action or actions that remove’s yourself from the situation. Next, consciously begin to spend more time being aware to the things that surround you. Pay attention to that strange vehicle driving slowly down your street. Pay attention to the two people hovering in the parking lot of the store your about to walk out of. More importantly, pay attention that which is out of place.

Real Life Example - The East Aurora movie theater shooter, bought a ticket for the Batman release and sat in the front row of the movie for twenty minutes. He then got up and walked out the emergency exit to his vehicle where he geared up.  We’ve all seen movies. We’ve all been in a movie theater. But have we all seen someone exit out the emergency exit? Probably not, but if we did or we do in the future, it’s odd, it’s out of place, my gut says that’s not normal. Your senses should now kick in and be honed in and paying attention that you’ve witnessed something out of place.

If it’s odd, or out of place, if that person in line behind you is standing too closely, I simply ask that you pay attention to it. Begin to recognize gut instinct. Begin to trust that feeling and just be aware, not paranoid. That’s it.

Please tell me your opinion on this topic and this article. I want what I put out to be effective and helpful. Thanks so much.

Enjoy this beautiful weekend.

Chris Marciano