How To Stop A Stalker In Their Tracks
You’re walking home from work one night when you see someone following you. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but it could be something much worse than mere paranoia.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to find out — learn how to spot stalking behavior and take steps to stop stalkers in their tracks before they become violent.
How Can I Be Stalked?
There are a number of ways that someone can stalk you, and most of them originate from your personal connections to other people. You might think that a stalker will never find you if you don’t give out your phone number or email address to everyone, but they can still find you on social media or look up where you work or go to school, etc.
The best way to prevent someone from stalking you is by taking control of your own safety. This means always having an escape plan and keeping track of which exits you can use in case of an emergency (as well as how long it takes to get there), keeping personal protection devices with you at all times, and getting a dog.
The easiest way for anyone to be stalked is by going offline for extended periods of time or by traveling without being fully aware of their surroundings.
5 Signs that Someone is “Too Interested” In You
They Attempt to Hoard Your Time
If a person wants to harm you, they probably won’t go through much trouble to show that they care. Be aware of people who demonstrate too much attention or concern toward your whereabouts and the details of your everyday life.
They Use Tactics to Control Your Emotions
There are tell-tale signs of any unhealthy relationship, so use your self-awareness skills to spot them before it’s too late. Potentially harmful people might use dependence, intimidation, manipulation, harassment, or disrespect in an attempt to control you.
They Make You Feel Uneasy and On Edge
Respect yourself enough to trust your instincts and be cautious when something doesn’t feel right. Pay attention to your heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. Notice if your palms are sweaty or if the hairs on your arms stand on end, for example.
They Attempt to Get You Alone
If a stalker truly believes he or she has genuine feelings for you, then there is nothing stopping them from confessing their love and proving their intentions are pure—other than fear of rejection or shame in what they might do if rejected. Avoid being alone in spaces with a person who acts overbearing or obsessed, and do your best to stay calm if you find yourself in a moment when they are confiding their feelings in you.
They Beg and Plead for a Second Chance
If someone pleads with you, saying something like, “If I can just see you once, I know we can work things out!” that is your signal to run away and not look back!
5 Personal Protection Devices You Can Use Right Now
There are several types of personal protection devices that can help to stop a stalker in their tracks. The best choice will depend on your body size, gender, and specific environment.
Pepper Spray
Pepper spray is an aerosol spray that contains capsaicin — an inflammatory compound found naturally in the membranes of peppers, where the potent seeds are held. When capsaicin comes into contact with a human’s eyes, it causes intense burning pain and tear production. Often, this response can momentarily distract an attacker, giving the victim time to run away or counterattack.
While pepper spray is an easy first choice, it's important to have a multi-pronged approach when protecting yourself from stalkers. If you decide that pepper spray is for you - make sure you're using something effective like SABRE pepper spray. SABRE has been trusted by law enforcement agencies around America since 1959 and with good reason: it provides strong, consistent results without fail.
*Check out the Byrna Gun it shoots Pepper balls!. Click Here.
Stun Gun
A stun gun emits a high pulse frequency designed to limit mobility. Unlike a taser, the shock can only be administered in close proximity, though it can issue successive shocks of up to 1,200 volts. You may not even need to come into direct contact with an attacker — sometimes, simply pressing the stun button to demonstrate the electricity between the two probes can be enough of an incentive to repel an attacker.
The VIPERTEK VTS-989 is one of the best stun guns available on the market, and you can purchase one through Amazon. This military-grade device is strong enough to penetrate thick clothing and can be activated in less than a second. Many people may avoid purchasing a personal protection device because they fear that it can be used against them if they are the weaker person in a physical altercation. What’s great about this device is that it features stun strips on the sides of the unit, which can administer a shock to anyone who tries to take the weapon from you.
Taser Gun
A taser shares many similarities to a stun gun. Many consider it to be a better option because the user can deliver a shock to an attacker from up to 15 feet away. A taser is strong enough to totally incapacitate a person, delivering shocks of up to 50,000 volts. Tasers can be used in “probe mode” or “drive stun mode.” In the first scenario, the user deploys the probes into an attacker’s skin and administers an electrical current, which causes the attacker’s muscles to contract uncontrollably. In the second scenario, the user drives the prongs into an attacker’s skin without administering a current. While the attacker is not immobilized in this situation, they will suffer intense pain.
The TASER Strikelight is a popular option on the market — it is discreet, equipped with a flashlight, and includes a loud arc warning feature to deter potential attackers. Tasers are not legal for civilians in every state, so it is important to check your state’s laws before attempting to purchase a taser.
Safety Alarm
Safety alarms come in all shapes and sizes. Some can hook onto a key ring while others can be worn as accessories. When triggered, a safety alarm will signal a very loud, often repetitive noise that is certain to attract attention; therefore, these personal protection devices might be most effective in a public space. The Birdie Alarm is one of the best on the market.
The Flare is one type of safety alarm that looks like an unassuming bracelet. If you feel unsafe, you can simply press a button on the bracelet, and your precise GPS location (along with a message) will be shared with five predetermined contacts. There is an additional feature that can connect you with a 911 dispatcher. Another option includes the ability to press a button and receive an incoming call asking you to leave a situation.
If you’re being stalked by someone you fear may harm you physically, there are a few things you can do to stop them in their tracks. The first thing is to try to stay calm and self-aware of your surroundings at all times.
Check out the Birdie Alarm - A Great Non-Lethal Weapon Option.
Kubotan
A kubotan is a weapon made from durable material that is about 5-6 inches in length. When jabbed into an attacker, it can cause sharp, intense pain that is strong enough to briefly incapacitate them, especially if you jab them in a highly sensitive location (i.e., eyeball, groin, solar plexus, nose, shins). Additionally, the kubotan is strong enough to shatter glass, which can be useful in a frightening situation where you find yourself in a situation with limited escape routes.
To use a kubotan, grip it firmly in your fist and thrust it hard into an attacker — the more times, the better. There are many varieties of kubotans out there, some of which include pepper spray or stun features. MUNIO designs a variety of kubotans that can be attached discreetly to a keychain.
How To Increase Awareness of Your Surroundings
Self-awareness is an important aspect of personal protection. You should always be aware of your surroundings, but if you feel particularly uncomfortable or vulnerable, there are a few things you can do to help increase your awareness.
You’re already paying attention to your surroundings in certain situations. For example, when walking alone at night and someone walks behind you, you become acutely aware of them and their behavior. This may cause you to change direction or walk more quickly towards shelter.
By using these same cues that make us pay attention during times of heightened fear, we can teach ourselves how to remain vigilant even under normal circumstances so that we know what it feels like when something out of place happens around us.
Read Our Blog - 10 Ways To Face Our Fears.
Now let’s talk about some specific ways you can increase your awareness of your surroundings so that you do not have to resort to more extreme measures of self-protection.
Practice Safe Driving
The first tip has little to do with knowing what’s going on outside of your vehicle and more with understanding who might be inside of it. Make sure you keep track of who enters and exits your car as well as anyone riding with you.
Consider scheduling rideshare driving services such as Uber or Lyft so that you have little contact with other passengers, not just because they might harm you while riding together, but because they could potentially learn where you live or work.
If you plan to travel solo, try getting into a habit of regularly checking rear-view and side mirrors before backing up or pulling out into traffic so that nothing catches you by surprise.
Turn Your Social Media Accounts Private
It is too easy to locate information about a person based on what they share on their public Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter pages. Do not accept friend requests from strangers or people who approach you online in a seemingly benign manner.
Additionally, be wary about tagging your location in the photos and posts that you share. Someone who is overly interested in your whereabouts can easily map out a list of your most frequented locations and make a plan to surprise you.
If you do plan on sharing your location in your posts, consider only sharing posts where you are surrounded by other people; that way, it will seem more difficult for a potential stalker to get you alone.
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open
It’s normal, especially in an urban area, to walk, ride the bus, or take a subway. Often, commuters will travel with their heads down, scroll through the content on their phones, or listen to loud music on their earbuds.
There are many reasons why doing so is a bad idea for you and an ideal scenario for a potential stalker. If you are distracted, that means that an attacker can catch you off-guard. On the contrary, they may use the opportunity to take photographs of you or estimate what valuables you may be carrying.
Keeping your eyes and ears open does not mean you have to engage in conversations with people or stare awkwardly into a stranger’s eyes. It simply communicates the message that you are alert, poised to act, and determined to reach your intended destination.
What Should You Do If You Think You Are Being Stalked?
First, don’t panic. Your main goal is to get away from your stalker, but it’s important not to do anything that will cause a scene or make you look guilty of something.
Don’t run away, and don’t engage with them. Keep walking until you can find a place where there are other people around, like at a busy café or store. Report what happened as soon as possible by calling 911 or your local police department.
Whether someone follows you by car or on foot, if they refuse to leave when you ask them to and they seem dangerous, dial 911 immediately. Think about carrying less lethal weapons, like a self defense keychain, a pepper ball gun like the byrna gun, pepper spray or even a taser.
Check out some PTA-recommended less lethal weapons in our Safety Boutique.
Law enforcement officers are trained to handle many different types of situations, including issues with stalkers. They can help you develop a safety plan and will keep tabs on your stalker if you choose to press charges. If your stalker shows up at your home or workplace, don’t hesitate to call 911 — even just one visit from a stalker can be extremely traumatizing for victims.
From there, investing in home security may also be wise. Locks, security alarms, and cameras can all be purchased online and installed by a professional. It is also critical to inform close friends, family members, or co-workers of a potential threat so that you have extra sets of eyes and ears on you.
It is all too common for victims to ignore or underestimate the intentions of a stalker. Erring on the side of caution can mean the difference between life or death. By increasing your self-awareness, investing in one or more personal protection devices, and limiting access to your private information, you’re better able to ward off potential stalkers.
Check out more information on women’s safety - Stay Vigilant!